Infertility is a medical condition that can touch every aspect of your life -- from the way you feel about yourself, to your relationship with your partner, to your. How Fertility Problems Can Affect Your Relationship (and 4 Ways to Deal). Dealing with infertility can be traumatizing on its own. Unfortunately. focus on treatment, resulting in feelings of confidence that their relationship can withstand any How men and women cope with infertility can be very different.
You may want to designate different rooms in your house for your intimate work versus play. Remember the ways you enjoyed sex early in your relationship and find ways to recreate it. Plan romantic encounters at non-fertile times, such as a bubble bath together or giving a massage.
How Fertility Problems Can Affect Your Relationship (and 4 Ways to Deal)
Understand that sexual intimacy does not have to mean intercourse and use your imagination to plan recreational sex. Build a support system. Couples often have an unconscious expectation that their spouse will be able to take care of all their emotional needs. This is a daunting task during infertility and an impossibility for any relationship. Infertility can be an isolating experience and put undue pressure on a partner for providing all emotional support.
Support from others can strengthen relationships, especially during times of stress. Encourage friendships for yourself, your spouse, and as a couple. Work towards balance in your support network by having friends both in and out of the infertility world. Identify individual coping styles under stress.
Know your own and your partner's styles for dealing with stress. Learning how to accept differences in the way each of you handles and deals with your feelings can lessen conflicts. Like many things in life, men and women will feel and deal differently with infertility. However, different doesn't mean better or worse; it only means not the same. Allow breathing room in your relationship.
Realize that marriages are fluid and in a constant state of change due to the many external and internal factors in your life, including infertility. During times of stress, try to give each other some space and distance to allow for transition. Understand that couples are seldom at the same place, at the same time, when at treatment crossroads.
Often we neglect to communicate our positive feelings to our partner, and all he or she may hear are negatives.
Enhancing Your Relationship During Infertility
Changes in behavior come more from positive reinforcement than from negative. Also, infertility may consume your life and engulf all your conversations. It may be necessary to put limits on the time you talk about infertility to designated periods, such as 20 minutes in the evening, so that it does not overtake all your communication. Keep a sense of humor. No matter how tough things get, being able to find something humorous about the situation helps to relieve the tension.
Why Fertility Problems Can Wreck Your Relationship (and 4 Ways to Deal) - Health
But through infertility, that dream has been shattered, or at least temporarily put on hold. Share your questions and fears. As you deal with infertility, it helps to have people around who can help answer your questions, be sensitive to your feelings, and understand your fears and concerns. If there's a counselor on the fertility specialist's staff, you may want to speak with him or her, or you may want to join an infertility support group in your area.
The National Infertility Association www.
By meeting other infertile couples, you'll be assured that you're not alone. And, most of all, you'll find other like-minded people who share your problems, feelings, and concerns. Allow yourself to cry and be angry. By all means, don't try to repress your feelings of anger, guilt, or sorrow.Advice for Couples Struggling with Infertility
If you need to cry about the "unfairness" of another pregnancy or birth announcement, go ahead and do so. If you're angry and need to pound a pillow or hit a punching bag, go ahead and release your pent-up anger as well.
If possible, try to plan a time each day when you can spend 30 to 40 minutes focusing on your feelings about infertility, and let the feelings come up. By addressing and releasing your emotions, you're likely to feel much better and have more energy to cope. Allow yourself to grieve.
Even though you hope to have a successful pregnancy, your unconscious mind has already begun grieving for the biological child you've not yet had. Since unresolved grief can be a major source of anxiety, you'll have to go through a period of mourning in order to feel better again.
Enhancing Your Relationship During Infertility | Shady Grove Fertility
Think of this period as "grieving a dream. A journal can be a comforting friend who's never too angry, upset, or busy to listen. Best of all, it's available at 3 a. As you record your thoughts, you may also uncover some insights you didn't know you had.
Stay connected to family and friends. Another step in reducing stress is to build a bridge back to your family and close friends. Though you may feel a strong connection toward friends or acquaintances who are having fertility problems, it also helps to allow those who are closest to you to offer their love and support.
If your friends and relatives are uninformed about infertility, you'll need to educate them about what you're going through. You might recommend a good book on the subject, explain how certain remarks are insensitive even if they're unintentionalor let your loved ones know how you want to be treated.
For instance, you might say, "Let me cry when I'm upset," or "I can't really talk about baby showers right now. Communicate with your partner. Infertility can take a toll on a marriage, often causing unspoken resentment, feelings of inadequacy, sexual pressure, and tension between couples. What's more, a man and a woman might respond differently to the crisis, with men acting more emotionally distant and women more openly distraught.
If you feel that the stress of infertility is causing a rift between you and your partner, it may help to seek out counseling. Even a few sessions with a good counselor who is knowledgeable about infertility can help you regain your footing as a couple and help you move forward again -- together. Try a little tenderness. Another way to reconnect with your partner is by reestablishing intimacy in both nonsexual and sensual ways.
You can also enjoy sensual contact that doesn't lead to intercourse, by taking a shower or bath together, giving each other a massage, or stimulating each other's genitals, either manually or orally. One of the worst instigators of stress is uncertainty about the future.